Screwed.edu
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I want to be your penis for a week.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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