Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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