gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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