Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
