dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
