I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
