wat bout pragnant strippers??
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
