I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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