he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize