My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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