question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
