We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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