Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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