yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
