oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
