theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
