i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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