i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
