Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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