He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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