Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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