His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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