I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
