Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
