Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
