margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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