mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
