Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
