party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
