i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
