I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
