Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
