As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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