dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
