Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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