Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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