his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
