You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
