Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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