he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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