I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
