big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
