I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
