Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
