Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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