my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I can text with my tongue
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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