4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Who died my cat blue again?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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