I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
His nipple licking is glorious
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