Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
