My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I got her a Nickelback box set.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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