after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Randomize
