Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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